"As to the loss of his own personhood, Jesus was on to this inevitability. This was the issue of his "agony in the garden". The question "To be or not to be" is not do "I" continue to exist or do "I" cease to exist?, the question was how, with no self-awareness there could be any awareness of God? In the unitive condition, the loss of self-awareness is equally loss of awareness of God, loss of the whole experience of oneness with God. This is when one's trust in God has to exceed any awareness-of-God-and-self.
"Ultimately, however, man will have no choice in this matter. Just as man had no choice to exist, so too, he has no choice to not exist. It is all up to God. Even those who think they would be willing to give up their identity, have no choice in this matter anyway. It is because Jesus knew this, all he could say was “Not my will, but Thine be done”.The Real Christ, pages 282-283